THE PROBLEM WITH OFFERING CHIDREN A “CHOICE” In the Family of Origin, the first family with our parents and siblings, there exists an invisible world of conflict over LOVE. Children clearly perceive this conflict over the LOVE they sense that emanates from their parents. It is something they worry…
Favoritism
Proof of DOLF Theory – Part 2
After almost half a century of empirical observation, this author concluded that opposition between siblings was a constant and reliable factor among the numerous families she observed. It should be noted that these were mainly families whom the author knew…
Proof of DOLF Theory – Part 1
There are several sources of proof of the validity of DOLF Theory. One powerful proof is the practical application of DOLF to ongoing problems with misbehaving children. When parents, particularly the Prime Love Giving parent or PLG, follows the DOLF…
Parental Anger and CBT – Part 3
When we think about HOW to punish a child, if we follow CBT that is based on animal training, there are yet more differences to be pointed out. That is animals, once domesticated, are inclined to try their best to obey their human…
Parental Anger and CBT – Part 2
Now that we understand how a child perceives CBT punishment-based training and better appreciate the contrast between this perception and our benevolent intentions, let’s examine our own thoughts, feelings and motivations when we administer punishment to a child. When we see our child throwing their toys…
Anger – The Forgotten Emotion
Why does DOLF psychology call Anger “the forgotten Emotion“? If we look at animal behavior, we see that Anger is an important driving force behind behavior. We find unbridled snarling, teeth-gnashing, snorting and fighting in the animal world. Yet even though it is certain…
How Parents and Siblings Really Feel
The childish thinking that DOLF refers to as the Mind of a Child is hard for adults to fathom. Here is another aspect of the Mind of a Child that begs to be unveiled. I offer it to show the way…
About The Discovery of DOLF Theory
The study of psychology and the development of DOLF Theory represents my life work. On graduating from university with a doctorate degree in clinical psychology and after having my first child, I could tell there was something seriously wrong with…
The Origins of DOLF Theory – My Personal Story
Emerging from an extensive repertoire of case studies gathered over 40 years and through 4 generations, DOLF, the Distribution Of Love in Families, is a theory that focuses on the Mind of a Child, and is built around the critical…
Explaining the DOLF Formula
In talking with my clients, I am acutely aware of the need to be tactful when introducing them to DOLF concepts. To make a DOLF diagnosis, I first try to find the client’s Prime Loving parent, or PLG. I suggest that when they…
The Human Urge to Hide Depression
It seems that humans feel a natural urge to hide feelings of Depression from others. But WHY? The answer reaffirms how Intellectual endowment renders humans so different from animals. Although we don’t really know how animals feel, it seems that the human need to…
The Causes of Mental Illness, Criminal and Child Behavior
THE “WHY” BEHIND ABERRANT BEHAVIOR In DOLF psychology there are two types of cognition. We are born with the Mind Of A Child where thoughts, decisions and behavior come from the Emotions or “gut”. At the beginning of life when…