• A GUIDE TO FAMILY DYNAMICS •
Welcome to DOLIF Psychology
DOLIF, the Distribution Of Love In Families, refers to the way parents distribute their precious LOVE.
After nearly 50 years of study through four generations
VERA RABIE
Doctor of Psychology
discovered that adults think and act Intellectually but children think and act Emotionally using their Mind of a Child.
I’m upset because YOU LOVE MY
BROTHER/SISTER MORE THAN ME! (!@#$%^&!
(image of angry child)
Here is the explanation. Every child instinctively competes for MORE PARENTAL LOVE than their next born sibling. We see this every day but dismiss it as normal sibling rivalry. However children are at all times preoccupied with SIBLING RIVALRY over parental LOVE. Unaware of this, parents inevitably direct MORE LOVE or FAVORITISM at the sibling with positive social behavior. Because a child cannot distinguish between good and bad behavior, they feel it creates a dynamic of Favoritism in the family where the poorly behaved child receives LESS LOVE. But adults need to know that both the good and bad child are acting the way they do because they are each seeking MORE PARENTAL LOVE than their rival sibling!
********image of children fighting********
So how should parents DISTRIBUTE their precious LOVE for the best results in their children’s behavior?
DOLIF rejects the idea that humans respond to discipline like animals. It introduces the idea that humans respond to LOVE. So we recommend that parents change their attitude by reversing Favoritism and BEGIN SHOWING MORE LOVE TOWARD THEIR BADLY BEHAVED CHILD!
Surprising as it may seem, this shift in parental attitudes inevitably achieves dramatic improvement in a bad child’s behavior, proof that DOLIF theory is correct. It shows that parents’ attitudes and NOT the child’s genes were the critical factors that led to the bad child’s undesirable behavior.
Dr. Rabie’s long term research shows that this same LACK OF PARENTAL LOVE or feeling of Disfavored status compared with a next-born sibling continues into adult life, causing the differences in the personalities and behavior of next-born siblings, as well as most psychological and social problems such as mental illness, substance abuse or criminality.
*To read more, see the four phases of DOLIF THEORY.
*Also refer to the Blogs for real-life case studies of treatment and solutions using the DOLIF method.
ABOUT VERA RABIE, DOCTOR OF PSYCHOLOGY
I obtained my BA at McGill University, and Doctor of Psychology from the University of Montreal. I later worked in long and short term mental health settings, adult corrections, youth corrections, education, employee assistance and private practice.
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