• A GUIDE TO FAMILY DYNAMICS •
Welcome to
SECRET LOVE IN PARENTING
or
SLIP Psychology
Do you understand your child’s behavior? SLIP psychology reveals an enormous gap in communication between parents and children.
SLIP reveals that the key to child behavior is parental love compared with a next born sibling. It means that If you ask your child “Why are you acting up and being so annoying?”, the answer is:
BECAUSE YOU LOVE MY SIBLING MORE THAN ME!
After 50 years of study through 4 generations, Vera Rabie, Doctor of Psychology, discovered that the Child Mind follows a hidden economy of LOVE that is central to a child’s world, but makes little sense to adults. Every child competes desperately with their next born sibling for more parental LOVE but we easily dismiss this as “normal” SIBLING RIVALRY. However, children are ALWAYS preoccupied with this underground sibling war.
Unaware, parents inevitably direct MORE LOVE or FAVOR at the sibling who shows positive social behavior, creating a hidden dynamic of FAVORITISM. The better behaved child receives MORE LOVE or FAVOR from their parents, while the less well-behaved child receives LESS LOVE and relative DISFAVOR leading to anxiety, depression and anger.
But adults need to know that both the good and bad child are seeking more LOVE in their own way and merely trying to outdo their rival sibling.
So how should parents distribute their LOVE to see the best results? SLIP recommends that when a child misbehaves, parents should adopt a Change of Heart. They should reverse their feelings of Favoritism by
SHOWING MORE LOVE TOWARD THEIR BADLY BEHAVED CHILD!
SLIP psychology rejects the idea that humans respond to behavioral control, discipline or even tangible rewards. Instead, it proposes that humans respond to LOVE.
A shift in parental attitudes achieves immediate improvement in behavior. It shows that the child’s opposition was due to their jealousy of their sibling’s favored status and that it was parental attitudes, and NOT the child’s genes or DNA that led to the bad behavior. It also shows that discipline and behavioral control are NOT the correct strategy but that respect, consideration and love are what the unruly child was seeking. SLIP psychology proves that Favoritism is the key to understanding child motivation.
*To read more, see the four phases of SLIP psychology. *Also refer to the Blogs for real-life case studies using SLIP psychology.
ABOUT VERA RABIE, DOCTOR OF PSYCHOLOGY
I obtained my BA at McGill University, and Doctor of Psychology from the University of Montreal. I later worked in long and short term mental health settings, adult corrections, youth corrections, education, employee assistance and private practice.
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