THE PROBLEM WITH OFFERING CHIDREN A “CHOICE” In the Family of…
Sibling Rivalry
Proof of DOLIF Theory – Part 2
In addition to the factors mentioned in Part 1, support for DOLIF theory comes from its nearly 50-year history and longitudinal design. It is a lifelong project that occupied the author’s personal time, effort and resources for almost half a century. Its…
Proof of DOLIF Theory – Part 1
There are several sources of proof that DOLIF Theory is valid and a realistic method to use both to improve family dynamics in normal families, and for treatment purposes with children and adults. The first practical proof is the application…
The Rest Of The Sibline
How does Sibling Rivalry take place and how is Favoritism distributed in a family of 5 children, or more? As discussed in the blogs about 3 siblings (The Third Child, Third Child Concerns, and The Case Of A Third Daughter With A…
The Case Of A Third Daughter With A Severe Anxiety Disorder
A set of concerned parents came to see me with their 8-year-old daughter, the youngest of 3 girls. From our first introduction, it was obvious that the girl had many nervous twitches, such as blinking her eyes, gnashing her teeth…
Vulnerable Third-Born Girls In A Series Of Three Girls
A Case of Three Daughters A woman came into my office and, before we could say our greetings, began sobbing. She was 68 years of age and said she had had a good life raising her 3 daughters. She said…
Two Case Studies of 4-Sibling Families
Here are two real-life examples of 4-sibling families whom this author observed from the time they were growing up, a span of about 20 years each. The first family came to see me when they had only two children and…
Third Child Concerns
Often talked about and popularized by Birth Order Theory is the “middle child syndrome” that describes middle children as the most agitated and bothersome because they are believed to be ‘squeezed’ between the first and last and get the least…
The Fourth Child
DOLF follows the flow of Emotions, specifically MORE LOVE and LESS LOVE, starting with the basic model of a family with two parents and two children. In DOLF the standard pattern in any family is that one of the first two children forms…
The Third Child
DOLF is a standard, universal and predictable formula. As per the diagram below, it does not change except with the addition of more children. This is because it gets its structure NOT from our common imaginings or personal opinions about behavior, but from the…
Parental Anger and CBT – Part 3
If we decide to punish a child using CBT instructions based on animal training, we soon find that the road ahead is a bumpy one, since the leap from animals to humans is massive. For animals, once domesticated, are inclined…
Parental Anger and CBT – Part 2
Now that we understand how a child perceives the punishment-based training advocated by CBT and have gained a better appreciation of the contrast between the perception and reception of our actions versus our benevolent intentions, let’s examine our own thoughts, feelings and motivations when we…