DOLIF takes account of the childish thinking in the Mind of a Child that is hard for adults to fathom. An aspect of the Mind of a Child that is unknown and unsuspected deals with the way that parents, siblings and in particular, Disfavored people really…
Family Psychology
About The Discovery of DOLIF Theory
The study of psychology and the development of DOLIF Theory represents my life work. On graduating from university with a doctorate degree in clinical psychology and after having my first child, I could tell there was something seriously wrong with…
The Origins of DOLIF Theory – My Personal Story
Emerging from an extensive repertoire of case studies gathered over 40 years and through 4 generations, DOLF, the Distribution Of Love in Families, is a theory that focuses on the Mind of a Child, and is built around the critical…
Explaining the DOLIF Formula
In meeting and talking with a client, I am acutely aware of the need to be tactful when introducing DOLIF concepts. Before I broach the topics of Favoritism or SIBLING RIVALRY, I try to make a DOLIF diagnosis of the family by finding out…
The Human Urge to Hide Depression
It seems that humans feel a natural urge to hide feelings of Depression from others. But WHY? The answer reaffirms how Intellectual endowment renders humans so different from animals. Although we don’t really know how animals feel, it seems that the human need to…
The Causes of Mental Illness, Criminal and Child Behavior
THE “WHY” BEHIND ABERRANT BEHAVIOR In DOLIF psychology there are two types of cognition. We are born with the Mind Of A Child where thoughts, decisions and behavior come from the Emotions or our “gut feelings”. At the beginning of…
The Key to Motivation
Our lives are riddled with Competition, Rivalry and outright Jealousy! DOLIF alerts us that the urge to compete is is embedded at the primal level of the human psyche. It is a drive that is as archaic as our DNA and…
Pursuit of Parental LOVE – Part 1 and Part 2
DOLIF, the Distribution Of Love In Families, represents almost half a century of this author’s research in child development. The theory was a product of Dr. Vera Rabie’s education, professional psychology practice, hands-on experience raising children, and intimate observation and knowledge of four generations of families. Given the…
WHY on Earth Did You Do It? – Part 2
To recap from Part 1, the Disfavored personality shows behavior that is under Emotional dominance and lacks policing by the Intellectual faculties. Typical of the Disfavored personality is thinking and behavior that either lacks Social Maturity along the Depression/Anxiety spectrum…
WHY on Earth Did You Do It? – Part 1
In The Mind Of A Child behavior is governed by Emotions and functions very differently from the Adult Mind, which relies on Intellectual logic and reason. Imagine dividing the body at the neck. In the beginning of life when we are babies or little children,…
Parental Anger and CBT – Part 1
When a child misbehaves, such as by hitting others, stealing or smoking cigarettes, current psychology directs parents to use Cognitive Behavioral methods, or CBT. It makes logical sense to parents when CBT advises them to act as a team, decide on consequences or punishment, and follow through with…
The (Thorny) Question of Research
The question of why DOLIF theory grew out of experience and empirical observation rather than conventional laboratory research is one I am continually asked. First, I am filled with gratitude for the years of academic training that gave the groundwork for my interminable curiosity about…