Here are two real-life examples of 4-sibling families whom this author observed from the time they were growing up, a span of about 20 years each. The first family came to see me when they had only two children and…
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Third Child Concerns
Often talked about and popularized by Birth Order Theory is the “middle child syndrome” that describes middle children as the most agitated and bothersome because they are believed to be ‘squeezed’ between the first and last and get the least…
The Fourth Child
DOLF follows the flow of Emotions, specifically MORE LOVE and LESS LOVE, starting with the basic model of a family with two parents and two children. In DOLF the standard pattern in any family is that one of the first two children forms…
The Third Child
DOLF is a standard, universal and predictable formula. As per the diagram below, it does not change except with the addition of more children. This is because it gets its structure NOT from our common imaginings or personal opinions about behavior, but from the…
Parental Anger and CBT – Part 3
If we decide to punish a child using CBT instructions based on animal training, we soon find that the road ahead is a bumpy one, since the leap from animals to humans is massive. For animals, once domesticated, are inclined…
Parental Anger and CBT – Part 2
Now that we understand how a child perceives the punishment-based training advocated by CBT and have gained a better appreciation of the contrast between the perception and reception of our actions versus our benevolent intentions, let’s examine our own thoughts, feelings and motivations when we…
The Case of Alan Hruby – Part 2 – The Significance of MONEY in Disfavor
The question of WHY Alan Hruby became obsessed with MONEY is one that applies to many people who are Disfavored. Alan’s behavior in regard to MONEY is actually a universal situation. He did what a great majority of Disfavored people do when they cannot…
Anger – The Forgotten Emotion
Why does DOLIF psychology call Anger “the forgotten Emotion“? If we look at animal behavior, we see that Anger is an important driving force behind behavior. In the animal world we readily find unbridled snarling, teeth-gnashing, snorting and fighting. Yet even though it is…
Anorexia Part 3 – Case Study of an Anorexic
In one instance of severe Anorexia a young woman aged 19 was an in-patient on the psychiatric ward of a hospital. Despite undergoing treatment for nearly two years with two different therapists, there was little change in her status. There…
A Successful Woman and Her Brother
A SUCCESSFUL WOMAN AND HER BROTHER In one case, a highly accomplished woman in her 40’s came to seek advice about her brother. She had an elderly mother, the father was deceased and a brother who was six years older….
Case Study with a Disabled Child
A gentleman came into my office, and after seating himself, said: “I have a problem but it’s not about me – it’s about my kids.” He related that he has two children: a nine-year-old son who is well and attends…
How Parents and Siblings Really Feel
DOLIF takes account of the childish thinking in the Mind of a Child that is hard for adults to fathom. An aspect of the Mind of a Child that is unknown and unsuspected deals with the way that parents, siblings and in particular, Disfavored people really…