The question of WHY Alan Hruby became obsessed with MONEY is one that applies to many people who are Disfavored. Alan’s behavior in regard to MONEY is actually a universal situation. He did what a great majority of Disfavored people do when they cannot find the satisfaction of attaining the LOVE they crave. They typically cling to money and material goods to attract attention to themselves and show off to their friends. They might join a gang or, alternatively, give out expensive presents for free, do daring deeds or flaunt their assets in a bid to gain the respect, attention and LOVE they seek. From our perspective, it may all seem nonsensical. But to them, it finally feels like success. And it feels wonderful to be so admired, be followed by others, and become the center of attention of their peers. The feeling is intoxicating, putting them into a simulated state of drunken stupor. They love being in that mode and in the spotlight, an advantage they never experienced at home when they were overshadowed by their sibling. Happiness and bliss floods over them now and all negativity disappears for those brief precious moments while they feel the power of the high. It feels so good in fact that it becomes an addiction!
But what they seek is not really money at all. Money is just a poor substitute, a temporary fix. The real quest is for LOVE, the ultimate drug. For we should know that to be LOVED is to have achieved the pinnacle in life. LOVE is the most precious commodity in life, above all else. We are born searching for LOVE through our most basic inborn instinct. But when LOVE is insufficient or inaccessible and cannot be obtained for any reason, and especially when there is someone in the way who prevents that LOVE from being claimed by its seeker, the urge is transferred to the next most socially desirable commodity that can fill that burning desire for unrequited LOVE, respect and prestige. And that secondary desirable commodity in life, the only one that can fill that void, even temporarily – is MONEY!
When love is unattainable, MONEY becomes its alternative. MONEY is the next best thing to LOVE because it brings attention and power to the owner. MONEY brings with it followers and the admiration and acclaim of other people. It can buy you all the things that impress those around you, things that are rare, things people seek, want, treasure, flaunt, hoard, envy, steal and will compete for. If you have MONEY, people put you up on a pedestal and worship you. And it feels great, at least for a while, though the thrill fades quickly and the hunger must be replenished.
Alan longed for LOVE and turned instead to MONEY and material goods to fill the void inside him. But when he tried to fill that gap, like any other Disfavored person who seeks MONEY, he found he never had enough of it. He was never satisfied because, especially for a child, nothing takes the place of parental LOVE. No amount of MONEY or goods is enough to dispel the empty feeling, the sadness, the desperate need and longing for the unconditional LOVE that only a caring and devoted parent can supply. What Alan really wanted was his sister’s place in his mother’s or father’s heart, but that was apparently out of reach for him because that was the spot that his sister seems to have filled so completely and competently with her achievements.
But nobody ever knew or guessed Alan’s true motivations, and Alan himself might never tell you if you asked him, even today. He probably did not know at the time, and may not even know now, about his own deep, burning desire to replace his sister in his parents’ hearts. That would have had to be brought out by a therapist who understands the DOLF method. But now his parents and sister are dead, so all we have to work with is poor Alan himself, alone and lost in the world because his Emotions entirely overtook and circumvented his Intellectual capability. Would it do him any good to explain to us now that it was all because he was Disfavored when he was a child, while he sits and festers in jail? Perhaps, but it won’t bring back what was lost.
Alan was never a violent young man. By DOLF analysis he simply had an overwhelming urge to fulfill his longing for LOVE within his immediate family situation. He would most likely have gone on to become a productive member of society because he didn’t actually have hatred or resentment of anyone else but his immediate family members. And now that they’re all dead, if we were to interview Alan today about his early family life, we would no doubt be privy to his feelings about having been treated in a more demeaning way than his sister. We would only find evidence of the pure Emotions that flood his early life and are the three standard negative feelings that are at the core of DOLF theory: Anxiety, Depression, Anger. By DOLF reasoning if we were to conduct therapy with Alan today, after he accepts our explanation of his true motivations, we could surmise that most of his Anger would subside. Once thus treated, he would probably not be a menace or a threat to the rest of society, and we could reasonably think about releasing him in time, that is, unless our priority is to make sure he is punished long enough to fit his horrific crime.
More important however is the question of whether this tragedy could have been prevented. DOLF theory affirms that this could be done if Alan’s parents had been admonished to restructure their pattern of LOVE at home, and extend more of it to Alan, who was feeling betrayed and alienated in his home. Through a DOLF outlook, more attention and LOVE from his PLG, whether his mother or his father, could have solved the problem in its budding stages. However as things stand, people respond to what they see on the outside, which is the bad deed itself and the behavior that seems so out of line, extreme and unthinkable. How could this happen, people say? What kind of animal would display this type of extreme behavior? Yet the DOLF explanation is specific. When it comes to human psychology and the human instinct to find LOVE and HOG it at all costs, all it takes is a little Favoritism to light the fire of Anger in a child and the feeling of being treated unfairly! There was no logic, no reasoning, and no interference of intellectual power in terms of the realization of consequences for the actions that resulted. So no need for a diagnosis, but in this instance as in so many others, just a severely Disfavored child!
