Anorexia is the most serious of the eating disorders because it deprives the body of essential nourishment, which can bring its owner close to death. When the brain has limited nutrients, thinking and judgement become impaired. Similar behaviors such as Overeating and Bulimia – binging and regurgitating – are of equal concern.
Because on the surface eating disorders look like they involve food and nourishment, Behavioral treatment programs target eating habits, proper nutrition and body image, and try to control and reverse them. So with Anorexia, treatment consists of trying to feed the non-eaters, while with overeaters treatment consists of cutting down food intake and calories. The same is true with other mental disorders. With phobias, patients must face their fears. If they are Depressed, the effort is to talk them out of their sadness or give them pills to make them happier. If they show Anxiety, deep breathing or relaxation is meant to calm them, and so on. If we think about it, the general idea is to get the person to stop what they are doing, and help them do what they do NOT want to do and are most resistant to doing.
But DOLIF asks: Isn’t that just dealing with the obvious? How easy it would be if we could just talk Anorexics out of starving themselves and re-train them in proper eating. Can’t we teach them the importance of nutrition and replace their behavior with desirable routines. Once we analyze their warped body image we would convince them to use their own good judgment to reach an ideal weight. Or if we become desperate, force feeding would be an option. As things stand, this is the protocol. Although there may be some effort to understand the motivation behind Anorexia, there is no real grasp of WHY the behavior takes place, nor WHY Anorexics punish their bodies. But what are the Emotional reasons behind this or any other kind of illogical, self-destructive behavior?
As with all mental ailments, DOLIF looks deeper to find the causes behind the behavior. With Anorexia we ask: What Emotional dynamics could induce a person to so limit their primal source of survival – food – that they are willing to compromise their entire physical and mental wellbeing? What could possibly be the motive be for “not feeling like” or NOT WANTING to eat? Is there a deeper explanation for such unregulated nutritional intake?
As mentioned in several contexts, DOLIF never addresses the behavior itself. In DOLIF the observable behavior is irrelevant, regardless of whether it concerns a mental health disorder, criminal behavior, substance abuse, suicide thoughts or otherwise. In fact, any disordered behavior is considered to be no more than a disguise or plea to secure LOVE! The standard DOLIF family model that consists of a Prime Love Giver and an Additional Love Giver among the parents, along with one Favored and one Disfavored child in every family, answers our question. It tells us that all mental-Emotional ailments originate with the Sibling Rivalry and Favoritism situation in the Family of Origin and the Anxiety, Depression and Anger that arose out of it. In treatment then, it is our duty to unravel these feelings regardless of the specific form of behavior that accompanies them, whether it be eating too much or too little, phobia, self-mutilation, drug abuse, criminal behavior or other.
So although this blog mainly addresses eating disorders, the same explanations, methodology and remedies are applicable to all categories of mental/Emotional disorder. Therefore in a DOLIF analysis we begin with the premise that DISFAVOR compared with a sibling is by far the greatest loss in life. (The only loss that can match it in intensity is the loss of a Prime Love Giving Parent). Otherwise, Favoritism is the one critical secret fact of life that creates the greatest Emotional impact on any person. It shapes and warps personalities and is the main reason for both compliant behavior in Favored people, and disordered or deviant behavior in Disfavored people. Knowing the three negative feelings of Anxiety, Depression and Anger that relentlessly flood the minds of Disfavored individuals then, these three are the feelings we should respond to in treatment, and not to the behavior we see on the outside.
So we start by asking: When a person becomes Anorexic, which of the three negative Emotions are most prominent? In Anorexia Part 2 we will explain how two of these, Depression and Anxiety are in fact the two most salient. We will also explain how the third Emotion of Anger, plays a critical role in eating disorders, though it is the least recognized feeling in the field of psychology.
(Continued in Anorexia Part 2)
